Trust, Connection and Vulnerability

As leaders, we’re often taught to project strength, composure, and control. But what if that very instinct — to hold it all together — is quietly costing us the trust, connection, and creativity we’re trying to cultivate?

In a poignant reflection in a December 2024 podcast, writer Kelly Corrigan asked herself:

"Are you gonna let people in, or are you gonna try to be stoic? Are you gonna share the load or carry it yourself?"

That’s a question every leader should be asking. Too often in my own leadership journey – and at the expense of building connection and trust - I thought I had to be stoic and carry it all by myself.

Researcher and author Brené Brown has spent decades studying vulnerability, and her findings are clear: vulnerability is not weakness — it’s the birthplace of courage, innovation, and deep human connection. As she puts it,

“Vulnerability is the emotion we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.”

In other words, the very conditions leadership is made of!

Connection isn’t soft — it’s strategic. It fuels trust, engagement, and resilience. When people feel seen and safe, they perform better, collaborate more openly, and stay longer. Without connection, leadership becomes a transaction. With it, leadership becomes a transformation.

Corrigan reminds us that connection doesn’t come through polished perfection. It comes inch by inch, reveal by reveal, breakdown by breakdown. Or, as Brown would say, “you can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability.” That means showing up — even when we don’t have all the answers. Especially then.

Every person on your team is carrying something. As Corrigan puts it, they’re “a little mystery box to be opened.” The most skilled leaders are the ones who learn how to listen not just with their ears, but with their intuition — reading the cues, the body language, the quiet bids for connection.

And here's the truth: we don’t need to share the exact same story to relate. Brown often emphasizes our deep, universal desire for belonging — and how much of our pain stems from feeling isolated or “othered.” Corrigan echoes this:

“Your version of getting cut from the soccer team is the same story as her not getting asked to prom. It’s all just wanting to be wanted.”

This is the heart of it. Vulnerability is the bridge between us — and when leaders go first, others follow. That’s where trust is built. That’s where teams move from compliant to committed, from guarded to engaged.

Ultimately, connection is what makes leadership sustainable — for you and for your people. It’s what turns difficult conversations into turning points, and team dynamics into a source of strength.

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about having the courage to ask better questions, to listen longer, and to show up — ragged edges and all.

Leadership isn’t about standing above — it’s about standing beside. And nothing bridges that gap like connection..